


Safe and Sound

by KrisLetang



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Character Death, Crying, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-31
Updated: 2020-01-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:40:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22488808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KrisLetang/pseuds/KrisLetang
Summary: Distraught after Tucker's suicide, Olivia is calling loved ones to ensure they're still okay.
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Olivia Benson
Comments: 18
Kudos: 89





	Safe and Sound

**Author's Note:**

> FUCK WARREN. This is a response to today's shitty episode cause I felt like Liv needed someone to just give her a damn hug. Fuck that shit. She deserves to be happy.

Rafael was sitting in his apartment when his phone rang. He glanced at it, seeing her name flash across the screen, and he frowned. It had been months since she called. He had sent her his new number incase she wanted it even though he rarely answered. He often felt too ashamed to speak to her as he tried to wade through the intense depression and grief from his trial and the guilt he carried. 

He was trudging through, working legal aid to try and quel some of his pain, but he wasn’t allowed to work with children, and he’d spent months studying for the Florida bar. He didn’t want to talk to Olivia until he had something to show, something good. He wasn’t back on his feet yet, but he wanted to be. He wanted to be fixed and feel whole again. Something told him he needed to answer this call though, and he never went against his gut. 

Taking a fortifying breath, he brought the phone to his ear, unsure of what to expect. “Hey,” he said. 

“Rafa.” He straightened immediately, her voice making his stomach clench uncomfortably. She was upset, and she wasn’t just a little bit upset. She was crying. 

“Yeah, it’s me. What’s going on?” he asked, terrified to hear what she had to say. It made him feel sick to think that she was crying. 

“Please, I need to know that….I need to know that you’re okay. Everyone isn’t okay. I need you to be,” she said, her voice cracking. 

“Liv, I’m okay,” he said. It was a lie. Emotionally and mentally, he was a bit of a disaster, but he was physically in good health. Well….if you didn’t count how much coffee he drank in a day and his slightly elevated cholesterol levels, but he was still alive. “What’s wrong? Is Noah alright.” 

“Ed...he just...I don’t know, Rafa. I’m losing so many people. I just needed….I needed you to be alright. I’m sorry for calling. I know you probably have better things to do,” Liv said, and Rafael felt his heart was torn in half. 

“Don’t apologize,” he said softly. “Are you alright? I don’t want to get off the phone if you aren’t.” 

“I’ll be okay,” she whispered, her voice hoarse. “I always am.” 

“Are you sure?” he said. He was scared to leave her. 

“Yeah. Thank you. I’m going to go check on Noah,” Liv said softly. 

“Okay,” he said. He paused a second. “Liv,” he whispered, pushing on. “Call anytime.” When she hung up, he sat there for a few seconds, worrying. He wasn’t sure what to do or how to help, but he absolutely abhorred the thought of her hurting. He knew her too well to let her assurances ease his worry. 

It took him all of five minutes to grab his laptop and start looking for plane tickets to New York. 

……………………… 

Liv was on her fourth glass of wine, and her body ached from crying so hard. She was exhausted, not planning on going into work the next day and she wished that she could go to sleep, but she was too upset to even try. She’d been checking on Noah repeatedly, but she couldn’t bring herself to wake him. He needed his sleep. 

Liv was broken. Tucker had treated her well when they were together, and she had been happy. She wished that she could have kept that happiness, but they had wanted different things in the end. Facing him and realizing that happiness was gone was difficult. She wondered if she would ever have that again. It was a different happiness than the one that she had with Noah. Her son meant the world to her, but having a partner, someone to love and care about, that was a different story entirely. 

Bad things seemed to happen to everyone that Liv loved. That or they just left her. She felt a peace in her heart that Rafael was alright. He wasn’t with her, and that made her ache for him. He had been the one man that she thought would never leave her, standing by her side through six years of bad cases and fights. He had always been her best friend, the man she was scared to love. She hadn’t realized it until after it was too late, but they could have been happy if she had just allowed him in. She knew how he felt, he wasn’t subtle, and she knew how to read him better than anyone else in the whole world. 

She was well into her fifth glass when she heard the doorbell ring. Liv took a moment, gathering herself and standing. She walked to the door, opening it and then pausing, wondering if she was drunk enough to imagine him. 

“Hey,” he said, looking sheepish. Rafael Barba was standing at her door, dressed casually in a henley and a pair of jeans, holding a small duffel bag and a bottle of wine. Liv couldn’t help herself. She pulled him into a hug. 

“Hey,” she whispered. She breathed in his familiar scent and let his presence begin to ground her. He was here. He was safe. He was still Rafael. “How long are you here?” she asked him softly, finally letting him go and leading him inside. He set his bag down by the sofa, putting the wine on the coffee table.

“As long as you need,” he said gently. “Do you want to talk about what happened.” 

“Ed died,” Liv said, feeling numb. Rafael did a good job of schooling his features, but she could see his surprise anyways. “I was just going to his retirement party, and now he’s dead, and Rafa, I can’t lose more people. I lost Alex and Elliot and then Nick. I lost you. It feels like everyone is just disappearing. Everyone is dying or leaving.” 

“I’m here,” he said, looking at her seriously. He sat down beside her. “I’m here and I’m okay. I’m not going anywhere.” Liv couldn’t hold it in anymore after that. She grabbed for his shirt, twisting her fingers into it and burying her face against his neck. He held her close, whispering to her and rubbing her back. He was solid and warm; he was there, and he was okay.

  
  



End file.
